Thursday, November 1, 2012

SPEECHLESS ...

I am in TOTAL shock ! I feel like I just woke up from an HORRIBLE nightmare ! I can NOT believe this ! Yesterday afternoon, I got a call from my father's cardiologist who wanted to meet with me IMMEDIATELY ... The drive to the hospital is almost 2 hours, so I asked if our meeting could wait till the morning ... He said he would call me later, when things were quieter in his office. He said h
e had BAD news ... So I waited ANXIOUSLY 3 hours, making believe all was fine and sounding joyful with my mom who knew nothing about this yet ... At 7 p.m. the doctor announced to me that my father had a VERY SERIOUS CANCER of the STOMACH that had spread everywhere else ... Not operable and not treatable ... The results of the scans showed that he only had a couple of months left to live ... He was going to tell the news to my dad after this call ... So I jumped in my car, SO UTTERLY SAD and CRYING and drove 10 minutes away to my mother's place to tell her the news in person ... She smiled at me and when she saw my face, started crying ... I told her dad had a KILLER sized CANCER ... This is the WORST thing I have EVER gone in my entire life ... She was DEVASTATED ... We cried and hug all night, talking about the DREADFUL future ahead .. How we would DEAL with this SUDDEN announcement ... I talked with him and he was TOTALLY hammered by the news ... We cried on the phone ... We were ALL terrorized, NUMB and helpless ... I tucked my mom to bed around midnight and came back home to my spawn cying for his MUCH loved grand-papa ... We ALL kept on saying THIS IS NOT POSSIBLE !!! NO ! IT IS NOT !!! Dad has had heart and circulation problems for a while but things always got better .... but a CANCER of the kind that leaves NO hope ? I woke up this morning, and was so disapointed to find out the BAD STUFF was NOT a DREAM but REAL LIFE ... I worked in my studio like a ZOMBIE, trying to face the REALITY ... Going on the net to find out MORE about what COULD BE and COULD NOT BE DONE ... I DREADED the ride with mom to the hospital to be with dad ... THIS was HORRIBLE ... I was ready to explode ... I had asked the doctor to call me back before we left this morning as we had a couple of questions ... The phone rang at 9 a.m. and I thank the doctor for calling so QUICKLY ... I started asking him a question and he interrupted me ... He said there was a MAJOR change in the results of my dad health ... I asked if it was POSITIVE or NEGATIVE ... He said VERY POSITIVE ... I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS !!! They MADE A MISTAKE !!! The results of the tests were not my DAD's but SOMEONE ELSE's ! SOMEONE filed the wrong results in HIS file ! THIS IS A MIRACLE ! I CAN NOT BELIEVE IT ! Right now, I do NOT care who did the mistake and how unprofessional and careless this was, it feels like a MIRACLE ! My mother was crying on the phone with JOY and DISBELIEF ! And my dad said he felt RESSUSCITATED ! It WAS a BAD dream after ALL ! He will be OK ! The feeling we ALL have right now in INDESCRIPTIBLE ! OH MY !!! I am off to school to tell my son about the WONDERFUL news ! YOU have NO idea how ALL of this feels ... This is the DEEPEST I have EVER PLUNGE to and the HIGHEST I have EVER CLIMB to !

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