Friday, September 30, 2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SWEET KING !



On a Saturday, around Christmas,
3 o'clock in the afternoon,
I took the BEST EVER decision of my ENTIRE life ...
Wanna have A KID,
I asked my boyfriend ?
YES, he answered, why NOT ?
Seated in our car,
we DECLARED that he was going to be a BOY
and that we would name him ULYSSE,
like the King of Ithaca in the Greek mythology,
he who HID in the Trojan horse,
played a bad TRICK on the Cyclop, son of Neptune
and resisted the song of the SIRENS while sailing the sea ... 
The VERY next day,
Ulysse was on his way to become our SPAWN ... 
Today, he is 15-YEARS OLD ! 
The light OUTSIDE is rich today,
the leaves CANDY-CORN colored,
the weather SWEET,
the sun WARM
and the ambiance EXACTLY the same as it was
the DAY he was born ... 
My son is a PERFECT fall day,
with all its EXCEPTIONAL and RARE qualities ... 
BONNE FÊTE, dear,
DEAR son ! 
I am SO lucky to be your mother ...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

FALL IS HERE ! FALL IS HERE !


Fall is HERE ! Fall is HERE !
Finally, I can NO longer use summer as an EXCUSE ...
NOW is the time to stay in my studio,
INSIDE, guilt free
and work, WORK, work ...
But WAIT !
Did you see that BABY BLUE sky ?
Did you feel the WARMTH of the shy sun shining through the windows ? ...
The gentle breeze that makes YOU want to wear the UGLY sweater
your grandmother knitted just for YOU ?
The crispiness of the dried up LEAVES under your feet ?
Did you LOOK at the trees tinged with CANDY CORN colors ?
TASTE the sweet and mellow pleasure of PEAR wine on your tongue ?
SMELL the scent of TART apples lingering around ?
Did you TOUCH the velvety bumps of forest MOSS with the tip of your FINGERS ?
LISTEN to the crows cawing as they FLY after each other in CIRCLES ?
MARVEL at the amusing BEAUTY of pumpkins, squash AND sunflowers ?
GOTTA GO !
Must take advantage of it ALL before winter gets HERE ...
Time to work ?
NO !
Today is a HOLIDAY !
Fall is HERE ! Fall is HERE !
 
 

Sunday, September 18, 2011

DON'T CALL HIM UGLY ! ! !


WHAT's with the name calling ? 
SO diminishing ... and so MEAN
You have to accept your FLAWS to love YOURSELF ...
and having someone STAMPING down on your head
with BAD nicknames is simply
UNACCEPTABLE
THERE ! I said IT
ENOUGH with the cutsy but SO devious
poisoned name SPITTING
Imagine how this POOR squash must feel ? 
People around have been calling him
The BIG UGLY Thing ... 
I feel sorry
for this DEAR misunderstood mindly
homely veggie ...

Saturday, September 17, 2011

AUTUMN CHRONICLE ...


Brrrrr ! ! ! 
The ground ALMOST got frost during the night ... 
38 degrees F ... 
bit early in the season but a GOOD hint
of a wonderful INDIAN SUMMER coming soon ... 
Walking in the WOODS at sunrise,
it seemed like the world stood STILL ... 
NO wind,
NOTHING moving,
NO birds singing yet ... 
TONS of fallen leaves on the floor of the forest
that were not even given a CHANCE
to change color ... 
Summer seems to have lost
her WAR against fall ...
The humus and twig BATTLEFIELD
will shortly become a composting CEMETARY
studded with warmer days casualties ...

Friday, September 16, 2011

ARE YOU AFFRAID ?



Is this a FROG
Is this an ALLIGATOR
Is this a LIZARD
Noooooo ! 
It's a MONSTER !!! 
One of my Asic Alife running shoes 
I found BRAND NEW
for $6.00 at a local store ! 
They are totally WEIRD
and UNBELIEVABLE
And I LOVE them ME
The boyz at home are now THREATENING me
of finding a NEW place to live
if I wear my MONSTERS in public
while we are TOGETHER ...
Let me tell you ONE thing ... 
I am one MEAN hiker NOW ...
Boyfriend says some day,
the nuthouse will come to pick ME up
and nobody will EVER hear
from  again ... 
I DARE them !!!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

ORANGE SPLENDOUR ...


CRISPY corn singing in the fields
While frowning STEEL blue clouds
Watch over FOG teasing the mountain
NO wonder ORANGE is the color of fall ...


DÉJÀ VU ...

Ohhhhhh ! ! !
Arghhhhh ! ! !
Yikes ! ! !
SO soon ? ? ?
sigh ........................


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

NOW WHAT ???

WHAT now, garden ?
Aren't you HAPPY with my work ?
I CANNED jars and jars of ripe italian plum jams, ROASTED tons of sweet red peppers, PICKLED bushels of caliente hot chilis ...
I DRIED pans and pans of tomatoes in the oven, FROZE bagfulls of blueberries, strawberries, rasberries and whateverotherberries, WHIPPED a mountain of pesto with freshly picked garlic and basil ...
I BOILED pots and pots of two-color corn, GRATED fat and long carrots, ATE fiery-tasting radishes, PUT AWAY potatoes and onions ...
BAKED zucchini bread, PREPARED butternut soup, STORED the oregano, thym and tarragon away in paper bags ...
I MADE swiss chard pies, tomatillo salsa and crab apple preserves ...
still, you are NOT happy ?
What do YOU expect me to do
with the ALL the sunflowers SHRIVELLING on their stalks, the sweet AND tart wild apples BENDING the branches to the soil with their weight and the pumpkins TURNING more and more orange as the days TURN shorter ?
And the sweet crunchy pears DROPPING on my head ?
And the figs BURSTING for attention ?
WHAT now ?
The grapes ?
They are ALREADY ripe ?
I know what you'll be WHINING about soon ...
You'll WANT me to tuck you in BED for the winter
and tell you a STORY of spring coming back soon
AGAIN ... 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

BYE BYE HARVEST MOON ...

Harvest Moon LESS a sliver
Chasing AWAY a dramatic sunset
Leaving PINK blotches in the sky,
Candy-corn TINGES on the leaves
and diluting purple watercolor SWIRLS in the lake ...


ITSY BITSY SPIDER ...

Hiking the forest at SUNRISE
getting high on the damp humus scent
and the occasional perfume of wild apples and cherries ripening ... 
LOVING this time of the year
when the weather seems to stand still,
not sure if it sure look back or go forward ...
A month when NATURE seems to be finally taking a DEEP breath,
relaxing after long stretch of hard work ...
At the end of the path,
a SURPRISE was waiting for me ... 
delicate dream catcher,
weaved by a fabulous 8-legged artist,
shimmering in the EARLY sun,
like a embroidered silver-thread labyrinth ...
A masterpiece created by
a SELF-TAUGHT artisan ...


Monday, September 12, 2011

PINK ! ! !



finally found
a girlie PINK hairdo
that suits me
And I can change hair color
when I WANT
Oh my ! 
Meagan Reardon is just MY kinda girl ! 
And she is EVEN giving HOW-TO instructions
on how to KNIT your very own MANE !


HAPPINESS IS ...


WARM and shy sunshine rays
sneaking through the windows and the wall CRACKS
of my garden CABINET of curiosities ... 
Chickens cluckin', blue jays SCREAMIN',
breeze whisperin', crickets SINGIN' ... 
and best of all,
spawn, 
or if you may,
EX mini-me turned into GIANT-me,
gently playin' his unplugged red Telecaster ...
Fingers tappin',
voice hummin',
hands applaudin',
my heart with happiness BEATIN' ...


Sunday, September 11, 2011

REMEMBERING ...


New York City fireman ...
a TRIBUTE to his friends who gave their lives ...

LET'S ALL TOOT ! ! !


Beans, beans
The WONDERFUL beans
The MORE you eat,
The more you FART ...

The MORE you fart
The better you FEEL
So eat beans
At EVERY meal !

Beans, beans,
The MUSICAL fruit
The MORE you eat,
The more you TOOT ...

The MORE you toot
The better you FEEL So eat beans
At EVERY meal !

When my spawn was a young boy,
these SILLY rhymes would make him squeal with delite ... 
GOOD memories ...
and a paper bag filled with little BEAUTIES ...


Saturday, September 10, 2011

I AM HOLGA ...


HHHHHHHolga got Trrrrrrrractorrrrrr !!!
HHHHHHHolga a HAPPY Girlllll !!! 
When I met my my boyfriend years ago,
he started calling me Holga,
cause I would work with HEAVY machinery in the garden,
wearing my sleeveless t-shirt,
my mini-skirt
and construction boots ... 
The name has stayed with ME ... 
Ealier today,
a farmer friend of mine gave me his old TRACTOR,
which was weathering away
in a corner of his barn,
in exchange for a year-supply
of fresh eggs from my girlz ... 
And it WORKS
Isn't it a beauty
RED and RUSTY just at the right spots !
What a TRADE
Gotta GO now ! 
Must drive it
round and round the mountain
for a while
to show off ...
or until I get dizzy ... ;-)

Friday, September 9, 2011

SURPRISE BOX GARDEN ...

CLOSED the coop for the night yesterday,
putting to BED 3 ROOSTERS and 8 HENS ... 
EARLY this morning,
as I walked through the GARDEN
on my way to let them FREE,
I stopped on my path ...
SOMETHING was moving in the begonias ...
HOLY poultry ! 
A tiny HEN
Tamed enough to be HELD in your arms ! 
Where did it COME from ? 
NOBODY around raises chicken ... 
I bet someone left her in our yard during the night ...
It happened with a COCK-A-DOODLE a few years back ...
She is ADORABLE
And a KEEPER for sure ! 
Told you our GARDEN is a
GIANT surprise box ... 
You just NEVER knows what will
APPEAR or VANISH ... 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

LIKE A TEAR ON MY CHEEK ...

A TINY tobacco box gourd
on a giant FUZZY leaf ....
Like a yet-to-open green flower BUD
on a waxy LILIPAD plate ...
Like a SAD tear on a BIG cheek ...
It has been almost 2 MONTHS
since our round-and-pack Mikey DISAPEARED ...
Now,
AGAIN,
another of our cats is MISSING ...
Patte-Blanche, our grey TABBY
who was RESCUED from a jaw-trapped last fall
has NOT been around since Saturday ...
Keeping my fingers CROSSED he will return
and ANNOY me with his non-stop need for
LOVE and his drooling ...
WHAT is happening ?
Is a CREATURE lurking in the woods
waiting for a PREY ? This is NOT good ...
Life can be TOUGH in the wilderness ...
C'mon, PATTE-BLANCHE !
Get your butt HERE right NOW !!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

THE LEGEND OF LA GRANDE GRINGA LOCA ...

Just received the STRANGEST and COOLEST surprise ever
in the MAIL this morning !
Sent by my BESTEST friend Guy,
it brought back INSTANT memories
and made ME smile ! A SCORPION !
See, a FEW years ago, spending time the boyz and friends in MEXICO,
a scorpion FELL from the roof in the SCOOP of my t-shirt
while I was READING in a hamac.
I reacted as FAST as a DEVIL dropped in HOLY water,
cursing, JERKING and dancing around like a MAD woman
while people around watched, mouth OPEN,
wondering what was WRONG
The beast FINALLY dropped on the floor
and ran AWAY fast ... 
It didn't even have the CHANCE to bite ME !
There was a moment of SILENCE
then we ALL started laughing ! 
There is now a LEGEND going around in the YUCATAN
about the Grande GRINGA Loca WHO Scared a Malo ALACRÁN
by dancing the EVIL OJO BAILA ...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

HAIL THE KING OF THE GARDEN !


LUSHNESS, colors and scents
MINGLING with the FIVE senses
at the entrance of my LOVE shack ...
ALMOST unbearable SWEETNESS of the GIANT Angel Bells
showing off like the KING of the garden
standing behind his wooden THRONE ...
while old roses, JASMINE, butterfly bushes, tall white TOBACCO FLOWERS,
, PATCHOULI, geraniums and BASIL
applaude him with their PERFUME all-sorts ...
Wish I could bottle it ALL up and take WHIFFS of it
during the BLEAK cold DARK days of winter,
when nature is SLEEPING
under FEET of snow ...

Monday, September 5, 2011

MIND READING ...

I STRONGLY believe
that animals CAN read our thoughts ...
Drove throught the mountains AROUND yesterday,
UP the hills and DOWN the valleys,
to spend time with an OLD friend I hadn't seen in months ...
Ah ! SEPTEMBER !
With its INCREDIBLY lighted days, full of CONTRASTS,
its DRAMATIC skies in shades of steel blue and perriwinkle,
its smells of RIPE golden fields
and dark HUMID forests ...
A month during which one COULD believe,
for a few moments,
that winter will NO LONGER show up,
that everything will stay GREEN, that the doors and windows will stay WIDE OPEN,
that the SNOW will stay TRAPPED in the clouds
and that walking BAREFOOT in the grass will be possible
EVEN in February ...
WISHFULL thinking ... 
As IF on cue, the cows
near the fence where I had STOPPED my car for a moment,
ALL turned around,
as if on CUE,
and MOONED me ... 
DREAM on ...

Sunday, September 4, 2011

THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT ! ! !


I'm in a GOOFY state of mind ... 
Could it be the FUMES I sniffed all morning ? 
I can ALMOST feel two little HORNS pointing through my SKULL cap ... 
My chapped HANDS are turning into cooked LOBSTER claws boiled in water ... 
RED and YELLOW sweet peppers,
LONG cubana and FAT jalapeños ... 
CHARRED in the oven till their skin BLISTERED
and they BEGGED to be stripped of it  and SLATHERED
with HOT olive oil ... 
Muuuuuuu-a-a-a-a-a-hhhhhhh ! 
The DEVIL made ME do it ! 
I can NOT help it ! 
I am a VIOLENT vegetarian ;-) 
So ...
WHAT state of mind are
YOU in TODAY ?

Saturday, September 3, 2011

FIRST, THERE WERE 13 ...

CHICKEN loft stories ...
FIRST there were 10 HENS and 3 ROOSTERS ...
Then, when I got back HOME,
there were only 8 HENS and 3 ROOSTERS ...
My charming and beautiful dog Nikita managed to SNAG one of the new DINOSAUR babies,
the ones I incubated in SPRING,
played a little TOO rough with it
and broke her neck ...
Bad, BAAAAAAAAAAD dog !!!
The other HEN was still missing and had been for OVER a month now,
leaving us wondering WHAT had happened to her ...
MYSTERY solved !!!
Upon cutting brambles behind the GARDEN this morning,
my right hand got PECKED to blood
by a FIERY dark creature LOOMING under a bush ...
I sloooooooooowly bent and DARED looking in there ...
Miss Réglisse (Licorice, in English) was HIDING under the blackberries !
I RAN to get a bowl of corn and some water
and when I returned she was NO LONGER there.
But ...
13 warm EGGS were grouped together in a makeshift NEST !
ALL this time, even DURING hurricane Irene,
DESPITE rain AND wind AND heat,
she was keeping her unborned babies SAFE ...
Unfortunately, our ROOSTER and KING Jello has been out of the SEX business for a year now
and the two Ameraucana ROOSTERS are still TOO young to apply for the JOB
so there was NO hope the eggs were VIABLE ...
To make SURE, I candled them to see if anything inside them was ALIVE ...
nope ...
So I got RID of them, waiting to see HOW she would react ...
She went back to find her nest EMPTY, stayed a couple of minutes,
looked at ME then RAN to the coop to have a PARTY meal with the others,
as if she was RELIEVED her mother DUTIES were over ...
Now, we are looking FORWARD
to finding the first BLUE egg any day now ...
The BEARDED hen is READY to lay !

Cockadoodle !

Friday, September 2, 2011

PURPLE SWEETNESS ...


Doing PLUM mathematics this morning ... ONE plum, two plums, three ...
ONE bowl of plums, two bowls of plums, three ... ONE pound of plums, two pounds of plums, three ... If you make 8 JARS of plum JAM with ONE bowl of plums which weighs 10 POUNDS and you picked up 11 BOWLS of plums, WHAT DO YOU GET ?
110 POUNDS of plums, 88 JARS of plum JAM, a VERY tired Italian plum TREE, a KITCHEN that smells divine, a PURPLE fixation and a GIANT sugar rush !

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I'M BACK ! I'M BACK !



Yooohoooooooo ?
ANYBODY home ? I'm BAAAAACK ! And this time, it's for REAL !
I am so, SO happy, you have NO idea !
I've been french-KISSING the walls of my house for the past few HOURS, feeding the dogs and cats HUMONGOUS bags of TREATS, knealing in my garden and EMBRACING my flowers ...
I've been making wild plum JAMS and coforful chili PICKLES and elderbery WINE ...
I've been FILLLING sketch book after sketch book with IDEAS that were imprisoned in my head for OVER a month ...
I've been basking in the sun on the steps of my outdoor DUNGEON with two HENS on my lap, SNAPPING arms and legs away from plastic DOLLS and cleaning two unidentied SKULLS ...
I am SO very lucky ...
Boyfriend is COMPLETELY mended and already at WORK in his shop ...
Spawn jumped on the bus with his GUITAR on his back for his first day of SCHOOL earlier ...
It all STARTED with my blog disappearance for a month in spring ...
Then, my Etsy convo service went NUTS and I could NOT receive or send any messages ...
FINALLY, my boyfriend got SERIOUSLY ill and was hospitalised for a while at the HOSPITAL in the intensive care unit ...
Just returned to NORMAL yesterday ...
I'm back ! I'm BAAAAACK !
BOING ! BOING ! BOING !
Jumping UP and DOWN with JOY like a Mexican bean on a poggo stick !
So, SO happy !
How have you ALL been,
GUYZ and GALZ ?I have missed you ALL so much !